`EngraveYourName : What hurts the most.

Imperfection.

Yeap, time for me to update my blog! I haven't been really happy these days, due to many reasons. About tests, family, him and being emotional without any reason. If you don't know, girls are like this almost every single time at night. Okay... Maybe it's just me. I get way too emotional sometimes. Until I can almost go crazy, I swear. I'm sure that there's times that you have been your lowest and you thought of ending your life. I had it too. I thought of it almost every single time when I'm at my lowest. I keep thinking why am I not talented of something? Why am I so useless? Is it because I'm ugly? Is it because of my attitude? My personality? Why I ain't good at anything? Why am I alive? Why am I living in this world? I should be better off dead what. Why am I wasting oxygen? I tried suffocating myself with a pillow before. It's stupid. And obviously, I have no courage to die. Haters, you must be disappointed much eh? :-) So, what I did when I'm overload with sadness, I tend to punch the wall really hard (when I'm both sad + angry), going to Clarke Quay to have a walk all alone by myself and just keep blanking-out along the riverside, overeat/starve myself and having a run until I ran out of breathe. Sigh, I shouldn't be this emotional anymore, I promise I won't be this emotional anymore. I know I can't control my emotions most of the times but, I still want to try being strong and think of the brighter side instead. I think from now on, I should run instead of all those I've said. I find that it worked out the best whenever I'm down. Heh, can slim down also! ;D

Sadness overloaded. Sigh.
Okay, put everything aside for now. I'm gonna talk about my school now. You can close my blog now if you want. Today I had 2 BEV test. I thought it will kill me because I'm still confused about the unit and I didn't have the mood to study the past few days. & so yesterday I went SP to study. It's the best place ever to study. I love to study there! Heh, it's also where I studied during my O level preparation days with my friends. Some of you might be thinking why didn't I go to my school's library or National Library or whatever. My school's lib is too noisy, while other libraries are too quiet that I might fall asleep. Plus, I can drink and study while I study at SP. Other libraries cannot right? Hahaha. So yeap, I think my efforts had been paid off. I felt more confidence after the paper compared to the test I had on Monday. If I pass, it's quite a good achievement for me and I shall continue studying and work hard!☺ So we have an assignment to do over the weekends. Reports. Gosh, I still don't get it of how to write and so on. BEV is getting harder and harder that I'm getting more stress. ☹

So yeap, ending off with pictures again. :-) See ya!
Feel free to ask me any questions here.